Thursday, February 28, 2013

Ripping off the Band-Aid

Everyone always talks about whether to rip the band-aid off slow or fast.

No one stops to think about the fact that ripping off a band-aid barely even hurts anyways--it's maybe a 2 on the pain scale of 1-10 and it lasts for about 3 seconds. (Well--depending on how slow or fast you go, I guess.)

Why do we let mild and short-lived amounts of pain affect the decisions we make so often?

We're so conditioned to be afraid of pain (because pain is usually a sign of injury or illness and, at the end of the day, we're all just creatures that want to survive) that much of the pains we come to fear are completely irrational. Sometimes something that is painful actually ends up benefiting us.

Because I can't go more than a day without talking about it--I just got laser eye surgery. Shocking, right?? I bet you had no idea, because it wasn't plastered all over my Facebook and Twitter and blog and I wasn't shouting it from the rooftops.

(I can see 20/20 now. In case you hadn't heard that part.)

Sorry. What was I saying?

Oh yeah--I got LASIK, and before the surgery lots of people asked me if I was afraid that it would hurt. And my response was that I honestly didn't care how much it hurt because I was so incredibly sick of all things glasses and contacts that any and all pain would be completely worth it.

I imagine that there are lots of scenarios where this should be the case--your fear of pain subsides when you have a complete understanding that the reason you're experiencing the pain is for something positive.

You may not have no fear at all--but the fear isn't enough to stop you from doing whatever it is that will cause the pain.

Tattoos, I think, are another example. In my opinion, if you are debating not getting a tattoo because it will hurt, don't get the tattoo. You don't want it badly enough. If you really wanted it, the pain of it wouldn't be enough of a factor for you to consider not going through with it.

Because I'm always trying to use my instincts in my favor, I try to let my fear of pain guide me to making decisions. If I'm terrified to do something because of the possible risks (most of which are usually pain or harm-related) then I tend to just decide to not do it. Maybe I could live a little more on the edge. I've been debating that lately. How bad could falling off the edge really hurt? I guess it depends on what's below the edge...and how far below...and what I'll gain by living right there on that edge. Right?


"Pain is temporary, pride is forever."
-A quote that at one point was printed on the back of every single person's t-shirt in every weight room all over America. And maybe even the world.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Yes, I Have Seen the Movie Taken.


I like to think that I have a pretty good understanding of people. I do a lot of observing, a lot of thinking, a lot of wondering why I do the things that I do. So most of the time when people do something kind of funny or weird, I can recognize where it may be coming from, or what is driving them to be that way. But lately I've noticed a funny quirk about people that I can’t quite pin down the motivation for.

I started realizing it when Katie and I were taking a trip to Seville and Paris. About 80% of the time that I told someone, “I’m going to Paris in May” the first words out of their mouth were either, “Ooh, have you seen the movie Taken?” or, “Hang on to your purse, Paris is full of pick-pocketers.”

To which I would kindly say, “I’ll be sure to be careful. I have a zipper on my bag and I keep it in front of me. I haven’t had any problems in Europe before.”

To which they insist, “Well yeah, but Paris is the worst city for pick-pocketers.”

Which is funny, because the prior year when I was going to Rome, Rome seemed to be the worst city in Europe for pick-pocketers.

Why is it that when you tell people something that should be really exciting, the first words out of their mouth have to be ones that temper your excitement? I know this is not what they’re trying to do. I have endless hope in humanity that the vast majority of people either want, or are totally fine with others being happy. But why the skepticism then?

This past weekend I got laser eye surgery (if you didn't notice from all my tweets and Facebook posts and me shouting it from the rooftops). It was probably the most exciting thing I've done since, well, going to Seville and Paris I guess. When I would tell people about it, the excitement in my voice was clear. Yet, almost without fail the responses would be, “Yikes, I could never do that!” Or, “Oh wow, hope it’s a good doctor.”

Like I don’t know that my eyes are a crucial part of my body. Like I wouldn’t have done the research until they expressed their concern that I should ensure my surgeon is experienced.

But again, they know that I have. They don’t really think that I haven’t thought the surgery through. It’s just a knee-jerk reaction, almost like an expression or cliché that you just can’t stop yourself from saying. [Shameless link to a post I wrote awhile back that I am now reminded of.] Critical responses have become verbal filler for us.

I know pregnant couples who have refused to tell anyone what they are going to name their baby until he or she is born. And while most of them don’t express it this way, I suspect it’s because they really don’t want to hear people say, “Ooh, Andrew? I went to school with an Andrew and he was a real a-hole.” Or “Aren’t you worried that if you name him William people will call him Willy? What a terrible nickname.”

These glowing pregnant couples don’t want to hear about how you once had a tax man that duped you and ever since then you just can’t bear to hear the name Thomas. Funny how they never seem to mention that the mechanic who helped them change their flat tire in the pouring rain was also named Thomas. It’s always the jerk that you think of first.

So, why is this? Why is happy news almost always met with words of caution?

And I’m not immune from this either. I’ve caught myself giving completely unsolicited and most likely unwanted advice before too. And it’s totally not my intention to rain on a parade. I have no idea what my intention is, in fact.

Little help here? Suggestions?


“After graduation Maryanne went out looking for a bright new world. Wanda looked all around this town and all she found was Earl.”
-Goodbye Earl, The Dixie Chicks 
(If you have ever heard this song, you most likely don’t ever want to name your kid Earl.)

Friday, February 8, 2013

Well-Deserved Complaints

In the age of social media and high-speed everything, people have the ability to be really loudly offended. So loudly offended, in fact, that hundreds of thousands of people can hear someone declare one tiny complaint. And as people love to hear the sound of their own voices, or see the beauty of their own words as they echo at warp-speed through the corridors of Twitter and Facebook, this is done quite often.

Therefore, the smallest issues seem to blow up. One celebrity says something kind of rude and all the sudden hundreds of thousands of people are up in arms. One business fires an employee and that employee gets 345,958 likes on Facebook to try to get her rehired (keep in mind, the vast, vast majority of these people have no idea why the employee actually got fired, they're just jumping on the "this is wrong, look how socially active I am" train.)

Side note--meme style:


So, it seems like we've become pretty sensitive. It seems like EVERYTHING offends us. And in large part, I'm not sure that's true. I'm not positive that as human beings we are any different in feeling than we were 50 years ago, or 100 years ago. I think we are just able to get our complaints out to a giant audience in a way that we never were before.

That being said, here is a list of things that I believe to be exactly as offensive and horrible and ridiculous as people complained that they were...if not more:

-Those Sunchip packages that were so loud they could puncture your ear drum
-Bic Pens for Women
-The plastic wrapping surrounding a DVD
-The twist ties holding Barbies hostage in their packaging
-Ashlee Simpson's on-stage jig as she was caught lip-syncing
-The fact that Jessica Simpson was pregnant for AT LEAST 14 months. At least.
-Booty pop jeans
-Any movie Adam Sandler has made in the past 2 years (and I'm being generous by only saying 2)
-Heidi Montag as a singer, as a celebrity, as a member of the human race...
-Courtney Stodden
-The Shake Weight

If you have any more examples of people/products/events that you truly believe deserved every tweet, Facebook comment and news story it got feel free to contribute!


"I mean, just think over the last 20 years, companies have spent millions of dollars on pills that grow men's hair and fix men's sex lives and now ladies have a pen."
-Ellen Degeneres on Bic Pens for Women