Top 5 Things People Not From Boston Think About People From Boston

What's with the ridiculous amount of Boston stereotypes being thrown around these days? What did we win the World Series or something? Seems like everyone lately wants a piece of Boston, whether to build us up or tear us down. And since I'm a loud-mouth, it's been really hard for me to sit around and listen to people who don't live in Boston talk about Boston.

So, while I've been stewing over horribly inaccurate articles like this one (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JOHNNY CUPCAKES SELLS TSHIRTS!! NOT CUPCAKES! TSHIRTS!! AND YOUR PICTURE OF A ROTARY IS AN INTERSECTION!!!), I've been compiling a mental list of the stereotypes that bother me most. Then, when I put that list to paper I sounded like a jerk. And while sometimes I can be a jerk, I wanted to show at least some restraint. So I decided to cut it down, and settle in on my top 5 instead. 

Though it's probably self-explanatory, each item begins with a Boston stereotype, and then includes my personal opinion of this stereotype based on real-life experiences.

Here goes:

1.) 3 feet of snow is a "dusting"
3 feet of snow is actually a State of Emergency. First of all, our roads were made in the 18th century, and, no offense to the pilgrims, but they suck.(The roads suck. Not the pilgrims. I'm sure they're lovely people.) So roads are closed for days. In addition, we Boston people don't just shrug off 3 feet of snow and then drive to work. During our last big storm, I didn't have work for 3 days. People wait outside near parking lots to watch poor schlubs come outside and see the mountain of snow that used to be their car. I know this because during this particular storm, I was that poor schlub.
Photo evidence:

Anyways, in summation, old roads + old powerlines = big mess, no power, and a big deal.

2.) We know how to navigate rotaries like a pro
Have you ever tried to drive down the Cape on a Saturday morning?! We do NOT know how to navigate rotaries. And full disclosure, I just stay in the outside lane the whole way around because once you go in the inside lane you may never get out. Ever. One time I got in the inside lane and couldn't update my blog for a month. True story.

3.) We can drink you under the table--we're wicked Irish!!
I'm pretty sure that it's people who live outside of Boston proper who spread this drinking prowess rumor--and then they come in from West Roxbury and Dedham at 10am on parade day bragging about how much they can drink and get in a drunken fight (read: A light shove followed by a face plant on cobblestone) and close our bars down at 3pm. Good work guys. (p.s. I'm not randomly picking on West Roxbury and Dedham. There's a rhyme to my reason.)

4.) We love the Sox, Bruins, Celtics, Patriots
This is completely true. But that's because teams are geographically based. I never quite know what to say when people try to heckle me for being a Red Sox fan. They're called the BOSTON Red Sox. I live in Boston. I grew up in a suburb outside of Boston. I don't really know what else you'd expect me to be. Go ahead and heckle Red Sox fans who are from Pittsburgh or something. Because that's random. But can I show my license and get a free pass or something?

5.) We run on Dunkies
Believe it or not, the people of Boston have preferences and opinions that differ, much like that of people in every other city and town everywhere. I'm a Starbucks girl all the way. Yet here I am, living in Boston. Been here for quite some time.


"SHIPPING UP TO BOSTON HEYYYYEYYYEYYY!!"
-Quite possibly the only lyric to a Dropkick Murphy's song that I know. So I just make sure I sing that line REAL loud to make up for all the other lines I'm not singing.

News Flash!

Because I spent my time last night researching data encryption for work, I didn't have time to write a post. And since I've spent the last few weeks making excuses as to why I can't write posts, I'm feeling kind of guilty. I like to keep things moving around here.

So, I'm going to cheat a little bit by repurposing some other recent writing of mine.

Every Friday, my office puts out a "News Flash" email that has all the weeks' happenings in it--new hires, promotions, birthday, computer tips from our IT department, etc. And one section is called "Who's Who" and it features one person in the office per week. Last week it was my turn.

Below are my responses:

·         What practice are you in and what accounts do you work on?

I’m in the consumer and tech practices. My clients are Stop & Shop and Nestle Waters (mainly Perrier) on the consumer side, and Veracode and PTC on the tech side.

·         What was your most embarrassing work moment?  

Luckily, my embarrassing work moments are minimal for now. Sometimes I give myself stress headaches from reading and re-reading emails before I send them to make sure I haven’t said anything dumb.

However, that doesn’t stop me from just actually being dumb. So, just recently, I had completely forgotten about an internal Veracode meeting and arrived about 10 minutes late. Typically, we call our London counterparts for this meeting. So I snuck into the room quietly, waving my hands and making sad facial gestures to express to Ellen and Caroline that I was sorry I was late. Ellen told me it was ok and then began talking to who I presumed to be the London office. In the 20-30 seconds she was speaking, I admittedly was paying no attention because I was still flustered about being late (I really really hate being late for anything, even internal meetings). All the sudden, the room goes quiet. I look up, and Ellen is staring at me. Turns out she had been talking to me the whole time, and I hadn’t heard a single word.  She and Caroline thought I was nuts. But that’s probably nothing new.

·         What’s your favorite 2 p.m. pick-me-up?

I like to switch it up, but a grande iced non-fat vanilla latte from Starbucks never disappoints.

·            If you could share some work-related advice with your peers, what would that be? (ex.   What do you do to prepare for a pitch? How do you keep track of billable hours? etc…

Never underestimate the power or skill of being in the right place at the right time with the right information. Even if you have no prior relationship with a reporter—that won’t matter if you give them the information they want before or as they realize they need it. Vice versa, the reporter could be your BFF but if you don’t have what they want when they want it, even they can’t help you.

·         What was the last book you read?

The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It’s weird and quirky enough so you feel like it’s speaking directly to you, but what makes it so great is that everyone who reads it feels that way too.

·            What’s the best song on your ipod/mp3 player right now?

I’m obsessed with “Springsteen” by Eric Church. I took a trip to Seville and Paris with a friend of mine last spring and that song was her alarm for the entire trip, so now whenever I hear it I think of all the fun and crazy times we had there. As Church says in the song, “Funny how a melody sounds like a memory, like a soundtrack to a true-life Saturday night.” So true!

·         If you could go anywhere in the world on your next vacation, where would it be and why?

I would go to Austria because I have an embarrassing affinity for The Sound of Music and want to see all of the places it was filmed. I’ll be damned if I don’t march around that giant fountain singing Do Re Mi at least once before I die. In that same trip I would also go to Germany because I feel as if telling people that I drank a lot of beer in Munich would somehow even out the fact that I flew to Austria because of The Sound of Music.

·         If you had a million dollars how would you spend it?

Re-filming The Sound of Music with myself cast as Maria.

No, I’m kidding.

I think I would have to buy a house. I spend a lot of time worrying that I’m going to live my whole life never owning anything more valuable than an Ikea wardrobe, so buying a house would make me feel better, I think. (House owners are shaking their heads right now thinking, “no, no it will not make you feel better.”)

Oh, and was I supposed to say charity too? …I’d give some to charity.

·         Tell us something that your colleagues would be surprised to learn about you.

I know all the lyrics to a very large amount of rap songs—from Jay-Z to Nelly to Eminem to Drake, and so on. I understand it’s an embarrassing talent because I have no actual rhythm and a terrible voice, but if you ignore that, I’m pretty good. I rapped Busta Rhymes’s verse in “Look at Me Now” for the PTC (internal) team one day. They can attest to my skill in being able to say a lot of words really fast, as well as my lack of rhythm and actual rap talent.

·            What is your favorite cell phone/ tablet app?

Anything that can tell me the news. I scan CNN.com and Boston.com probably 50 times a day. I have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).

Sometimes, when I walk outside and the streets are really deserted I get paranoid that something really huge is happening and everyone is inside watching it on TV. That’s when it helps to have the news on your phone, and a good Twitter feed. 

·            What is your favorite blog/blogger?

I’m a big fan of Jarrett Bellini’s blog on CNN (shocking) called “Apparently This Matters.”

http://www.jarrettbellini.com/p/writing.html

·            What is your motto/what words do you live by?

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a difficult battle.”

Even though this post technically would have ended with a quote ^ see above, I've already used that one here before. So I'm offering up another.

"At 56 percent, German companies appear to have the highest rate of sensitive or confidential data transferred to the cloud."

-"Encryption in the Cloud," Ponemon Institute

Oh woops, sorry. I mean...

"I can't seem to stop singing wherever I am. And what's worse, I can't seem to stop saying things - anything and everything I think and feel."

-Maria (Julie Andrews), The Sound of Music

In Defense of Generation Y

I have never been a fan of people scolding me for things that I have no control over.

I don’t actually think that anyone is a fan of that. That’d be weird. But I’ve always been pretty vocal about my hatred of being blamed for things that aren’t my fault.

So, one thing that’s been grinding my gears lately has been all the hate towards “Generation Y.”

I had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I was born in the late 1980’s. You’ll have to bring that issue up with my parents.

The reason I don’t know about movies from the 1940’s isn’t because I’m uncultured. It’s because I didn’t grow up in the 1940’s, and I’m not a huge movie buff. I don’t even really know too much about movies from the 2000’s.

The reason I don’t know how to use a record player isn’t because I’m stupid. It’s because by the time I was old enough to listen to my own music, records and record players were no longer easily available. And CD players were. And guess what? The sound quality is actually better. I promise.

The reason I don’t know my friends’ phone numbers by heart isn’t because I’m too self-absorbed to remember them. It’s because there is absolutely no need for me to remember them when I have a tool that does that for me. You buy butter instead of churning it yourself, don’t you? And it’s not because you’re too weak to churn it—why would you bother spending your time doing something that’s completely unnecessary?

I’m tired of hearing about how I’m socially inept because I text instead of calling or meeting people in person. Since the founding of the Pony Express people have been looking for ways to not meet up with people face to face. It’s not just the people born between 1970-1995. 

I’m tired of being called lazy and entitled and unwilling to settle down and disrespectful and irresponsible and all of the other things people who complain about Generation Y say about us. And then, when I defend myself by saying any of what I’ve written above, they say something like, “Oh, not you,” or “Well you got a job right away so that’s better than most other people your age,” or some other placating remark that somehow suggests that I’m not “as bad” as the others. THAT is the exact reason we all supposedly feel entitled! Now I get to walk away from the conversation thinking that I'm special and better than the others because you told me so.

And for other Generation Y’s who have lamented about your own kind, I hate to point out that that makes you no better than the people you’re putting down. It means you somehow think you’re better than other people your age, and you’re exempt from their perceived flaws and shortcomings---but their perceived flaws and shortcomings is that they think they’re better than others, and exempt from flaws and shortcomings. See what I’m saying?

So I’m not even going to talk about the things I’ve done in my life that supposedly "prove" that I’m not lazy or entitled or socially inept or whatever else. I'm not going to distance myself from Generation Y. You mess with Generation Y and you mess with me.

And luckily, I have that college-level rhetoric training that you scoffed at, so I’m up for the challenge.

"They're all mistakes, children! Filthy, nasty things. Glad I never was one."

-Miss Trunchbull, Matilda

Words I Live By: "The Busy Trap"

If you only read one thing today, don’t even make it this blog post. Make it the article that this blog post is about: "The Busy Trap"

If you read two things, then I guess the second thing could be this post. I wouldn’t complain.

If you just said to yourself, “well, I already clicked on this blog post, and clicking on another link to read that article is just too much work,” then I’ll just give you a quick summary and some of my favorite pieces from the article here, and you can pretend you read it:

Summary: 

In short, the author describes how Americans make themselves so busy that they lose out on leisure time, mistaking it as an unimportant or unnecessary part of life, when the leisure time is actually what makes life what it is. And when we really delve into the heart of why we do this, the author believes it comes down to some sort of self-assurance that we need to feel, because others have decided they should feel it, and everyone has to keep up with the next person. 

Excerpts:

“I recently wrote a friend to ask if he wanted to do something this week, and he answered that he didn’t have a lot of time but if something was going on to let him know and maybe he could ditch work for a few hours. I wanted to clarify that my question had not been a preliminary heads-up to some future invitation; this was the invitation. But his busyness was like some vast churning noise through which he was shouting out at me, and I gave up trying to shout back over it.”

“It’s not as if any of us wants to live like this, any more than any one person wants to be part of a traffic jam or stadium trampling or the hierarchy of cruelty in high school — it’s something we collectively force one another to do.”

“Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness; obviously your life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if you are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day.”

“More and more people in this country no longer make or do anything tangible; if your job wasn’t performed by a cat or a boa constrictor in a Richard Scarry book I’m not sure I believe it’s necessary.”

The thing about articles like this is that, while they are great and inspiring and I’d love to model my whole life off of it, sometimes you just have to pick and choose what to take out of it. Because, let’s be real, I’m not going to just take to the forest, learn how to whittle and sit in a rocking chair (that I whittled myself) whittling more things and drinking tea (from a mug, that I most likely whittled myself).

So while it’s impractical and impossible to not ever say that I’m busy, what I really took away from this was trying to not use “busy” as some sort of masochistic badge of honor, or as a “one-upper.” Or, as the author puts it, “being a part of a traffic jam or stadium trampling or the hierarchy of cruelty in high school.” So I try my best to duck out of “the busy trap” anytime I see myself falling into it. I see it as being a part of the solution. Nobody’s perfect, but it’s always good to try to improve, right?

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

-John Lennon

Words I Live By: Loyalty

I'm going literal with this week's "Words I Live By" because it's actually just a single word.

Loyalty 

I'll start with a couple defintions:

• Being loyal can take on a few different forms: loyalty to a person, loyalty to a cause, loyalty to certain beliefs. And in that sense, what it means is that you don't stray from the moral code and guidelines that are implied by whatever relationship/affiliation you have with said person/cause/belief. 

• Having someone be loyal to you means trusting your friend/partner to not do you wrong or hurt you, knowing someone will always help you if you need it, understanding that someone else understands you and your intentions completely. At least, that's what it means to me. Maybe you have other ideas?

Loyalty is one of those things that you don't realize how important it is until you experience the opposite of it. Once you know disloyalty, how can you be on board with anything else but loyalty?

Throughout middle school and high school I was lucky enough to have probably the greatest group of friends a 13-18 year old could ask for. My friends and I were all nerds. We loved Student Council. And we never fought. Over time, I got spoiled thinking that all friendships were like this--never worrying if your best friend was secretly mad at you, or talking about you behind your back. 

And then, I learned that they weren't all like that.

And it hurt. A lot. And it was confusing and scary and unsettling to know that something I had learned to be true--that all close friendships were positive ones--maybe wasn't so true.

Lots of people learn about loyalty and disloyalty through relationships. To me, loyalty within a romantic relationship isn't different from loyalty in a platonic friendship. If you say that you would never cheat on your boyfriend or girlfriend, then you should also be saying you would never sell a friend out. Loyalty is loyalty--it's something that you either practice, or don't practice.

Like I said earlier, loyalty is something that matters once you realize how badly disloyalty hurts. Or once you realize how badly you feel when you are disloyal to someone else.

I've felt both. You probably have too--in some degree or another.

It's easy to look back and find a time where someone has been disloyal to you.

Ever noticed that when you're playing "Never Have I Ever" and someone says "never have I ever been cheated on" almost everyone puts down a finger? Everyone's got a story about the time they were cheated on....

But then have you noticed that when you're playing that game and someone says "never have I ever cheated on someone" barely anyone admits to it?

Look, I'm not a mathematician, but statistically, this just seems impossible. If 9/10 people have been cheated on, but only 1/10 people has cheated...who the hell is doing all this cheating that is supposedly going on?? That 1 guy or girl is REALLY making the rounds, huh??

My point is--it's hard to admit to yourself, and to others, that you've been disloyal. But it happens. And it's worth fixing so it doesn't happen again.

Whether it's loyalty for and from those that you love, or for an idea or cause that you believe in, loyalty, in my opinion, is something that everyone should learn, live, and expect nothing less than.

To end on a high note, I really do believe that if you are loyal, you will find loyalty in others. 

I know that I have.


“You think I'm a fool?" demanded Harry.
"No, I think you're like James," said Lupin, "who would have regarded it as the height of dishonor to mistrust his friends.”

-J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Words I Live By: Be Kind...

Continuing this "Words I Live By" series, I have a much shorter one for this week:

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a difficult battle."
-Supposedly this was said by Plato, but no one really knows

Of all the things people try to make themselves (smart, successful, rich, popular, etc.) kind is something that can often get overlooked.

Which is understandable because I feel like we use "nice" as a synonym for kind, and expressions like, "Oh yeah, she's nice" get thrown around without really meaning anything. So kindness gets really downplayed. Like, anyone who isn't a sociopath is considered "nice." It's not really something you have to work too hard to achieve.

But if you really think about it, being kind is a lot more than just someone shrugging and saying "yeah she's nice." To be kind you are going out of your way to do good for someone. You are putting aside an impulse to be selfish, or to be impatient, or to save yourself hassle because you know it will make someone else's day easier or better.

The other half of this quote revolves around a really important life fact: we are all the same.

Of course, we are all unique and different, and whatever other stuff your parents told you when you were little to make you feel special. But everything in life can always be looked at from both sides, and the flip side to "you are unique" is that "everyone is the same." We all generally want to be healthy and happy and comfortable, we all think that we are the most important people in the world, and we all have problems. Sure, some people's problems may be more severe than others, but to the person who only knows how it feels to have their own problems, it's all relative. So, everyone is always fighting some sort of battle, whether it be publicly known, or an internal battle. Everyone's always got something going on that's weighing on them.

We owe it to others to always keep this in mind.

I feel like it's kind of weird to end posts about a quote with another quote, but I can't give up the tradition now!

Since I feel like my impatience most often gets in the way of my kindness I'll go with this one:


"Patience is the most necessary quality for business, many a man would rather you heard his story than grant his request."
-Lord Chesterfield

Words I Live By: Jane Eyre

Lately I've been having some writer's block. I've been busy working, and going on vacation, and thinking about going on vacation, and creating excuses to not go to the gym, and because of that I've had a harder time posting blogs. 

So I started trying to motivate myself to write more. And I did this by revisiting some of my favorite articles, books and quotes. 

I'm a sucker for a good quote (which is why I end every post with one), and it's probably my ultimate writing goal to compose at least one sentence, at some point in my life, that resonates with someone as much as certain writings have resonated with me.

Good writing isn't about technically sound sentences, or using the biggest, most descriptive words. It's about summing up all the nuances of a complicated situation in a sentence, or a paragraph, or a chapter. It's about convincing others that you know how they feel, and you know why they feel how they feel.

So, I've decided that my next couple posts are going to be about various writings that have stuck with me over the years, that I keep going back to for inspiration, and that comfort me or motivate me in one way or another.

Probably my favorite book of all time is Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. And I've decided that it's my favorite book because of a single chapter.

Jane is a young girl at a strict boarding school in the nineteenth century. She was sent there by her wicked aunt, Mrs. Reed, who just wanted to get rid of her. At school she meets a girl named Helen Burns, and the two fall into a discussion after Helen is hit for not paying attention in class. Jane, who is a bit hot-headed, talks to Helen about why she could never endure what Helen endured. And Helen, who is pretty much a saint, explains why she endured it.

I've skipped some of the middle parts so I don't lose you, but do your best to work your way through this. I'll even bold the best parts!

"But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be sent to stand in the middle of a room full of people; and you are such a great girl: I am far younger than you, and I could not bear it."

"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is weak and silly to say you CANNOT BEAR what it is your fate to be required to bear."

I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of endurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the forbearance she expressed for her chastiser. Still I felt that Helen Burns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes. I suspected she might be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply; like Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.
...

"Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good?"

"Yes, in a passive way: I make no effort; I follow as inclination guides me. There is no merit in such goodness."

"A great deal: you are good to those who are good to you. It is all I ever desire to be. If people were always kind and obedient to those who are cruel and unjust, the wicked people would have it all their own way: they would never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would grow worse and worse. When we are struck at without a reason, we should strike back again very hard; I am sure we should—so hard as to teach the person who struck us never to do it again."

"You will change your mind, I hope, when you grow older: as yet you are but a little untaught girl."

"But I feel this, Helen; I must dislike those who, whatever I do to please them, persist in disliking me; I must resist those who punish me unjustly. It is as natural as that I should love those who show me affection, or submit to punishment when I feel it is deserved."

"Heathens and savage tribes hold that doctrine, but Christians and civilised nations disown it."

"How? I don't understand."

"It is not violence that best overcomes hate—nor vengeance that most certainly heals injury."
...

"Then I should love Mrs. Reed, which I cannot do; I should bless her son John, which is impossible."
...

Well," I asked impatiently, "is not Mrs. Reed a hard-hearted, bad woman?"

"She has been unkind to you, no doubt; because you see, she dislikes your cast of character, as Miss Scatcherd does mine; but how minutely you remember all she has done and said to you! What a singularly deep impression her injustice seems to have made on your heart! No ill-usage so brands its record on my feelings. Would you not be happier if you tried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it excited? Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs."

In my time, I've been known to register a few wrongs. I've been inclined to strike back at those who I believe have struck me for no reason. Sometimes I have to be reminded that hating someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

I feel like Jane in this chapter sums up exactly how I'm inclined to feel when I perceive something wrong has happened to me. And reading Helen's response always reminds me to just chill the heck out.

Peace. Love. Helen Burns.

I promise that some of my other "words to live by" will be shorter than this. But not all of them.

It seems only right to wrap this up with another great Jane Eyre quote.

“No sight so sad as that of a naughty child," he began, "especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?"
"They go to hell," was my ready and orthodox answer.
"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?"
"No, sir."
"What must you do to avoid it?"
I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: "I must keep in good health and not die.”

-Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

Jane is such a badass.

How Cliche!

I'm not big on cliches and generic, canned phrases that people always use to sum up a variety of situations. I'm not an "everything happens for a reason" sort of girl. Or an "if you love someone let them go" kind of person.

However, there are definitely a couple of cliches that I'm on board with. Sometimes you just can't dispute evidence that proves that these phrases are straight truth.

"It's a small world." -- Seriously, it is SUCH a small world. And this is both comforting and terrifying to me. I have learned over and over again that even when you say goodbye to people, there is a really good chance you'll run into them again. Sometimes that's a great thing, and sometimes it's a really annoying, terrible thing. There are lots of Murphy's Law-type rules when it comes to the "it's a small world" principle:

• If you say something mean about someone in public, you will say it within earshot of someone who happens to know them.
• If you see someone from college or high school and think to yourself, "Hm, I haven't seen them in FOREVER," you will inevitably see them everywhere you go for the next 6-12 months.
• If you just begin dating someone, you will soon after meet someone, or catch up with an old friend who happens to know their most recent ex.
• If you meet someone brand new, say, on vacation, you will meet their cousin or someone else who knows them in the next month.

"Good things happen to good people." -- This is not to say that bad things never happen to good people, or that good things never happen to bad people, because of course, that's just not true. But I really do believe that when it all nets out, good people have it better. I also have learned over time that good things happen to positive people. Essentially, you get what you expect to get in this world. And if you expect the worst, that's what you'll find. But I'm not sure they've turned that into a cliche yet, so in the meantime I'll stick with "good things happen to good people" -- even though "good" and "positive" do not always go hand in hand.

"The grass is greener on the other side." -- Ok, I really only strongly advocate this phrase when it comes to girl's hair. The grass is always greener on another girl's head. Err--ok so that doesn't translate well. What I mean is that every girl with curly hair wants straight hair, and every girl with straight hair wishes their hair would curl. The hair care industry thrives on this principle. Perms and curlers and straighteners and sprays and gels and chemicals exist so girls can force their hair to do what other girl's hair does naturally--but you would never know her hair does that naturally because she's too busy forcing her hair to do what another girl's hair does naturally. 

So,  while I may not be down for the "everything happens for a reason"s of the world (which is another blog topic for another day), there are at least a few other expressions I can get behind.

"Someone once told me the grass was much greener on the other side. Well, I took a visit, and it's possible I missed it. It seemed different yet exactly the same."

-Macy Gray, "In Between" ...yes, the As Told by Ginger theme song

"You love the Red Sox, but have the Red Sox ever loved you back?"

(I promise I'm not becoming a sports blog. I just have been thinking a lot about sports lately. I'll write about cute furry animals or something next week to make up for it.)

Loving a sports team is almost always a heartbreaking experience at the end of the season. Every year only 1 team's fans are truly satisfied. Oftentimes when I see my favorite teams lose in the playoffs, I find myself wishing that they just hadn't made it to the playoffs at all. (I remember reading this article when the Patriots lost the Superbowl in 2012 and feeling pretty crappy afterwards.)

Being dedicated to a sports team can take up a lot of time, effort and money: reading articles, watching the actual game, celebrating or mourning the outcome of the game, watching their rivals games, celebrating or mourning the outcome of those games, buying their memorabilia, buying tickets to the games, etc. It can be exhausting.

And for what gain? This is what people who don't love a sports team always ask. What do you get out of this? As they said in the wonderfully terrible movie Fever Pitch with Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore: "You love the Red Sox, but have the Red Sox ever loved you back?"

When people ask this question, they ask it rhetorically because they think the obvious answer is no. Big Papi has no idea who I am, so how could he possibly love me?

But while the obvious answer is no, the correct answer is actually yes. Sports teams, in general, absolutely love their fans, in general. They talk about us all the time. They love playing at their home arena or field because we are there rooting for them. They hate playing at other people's arenas or fields because we aren't there. Their teams wouldn't exist as they know them if it wasn't for our support. They need us to be interested in them, and to love them.

Loving a sports team is no less reciprocal than your average relationship. Lots of relationships out there aren't perfectly aligned--one person may give more sometimes, or one person may love the other a little bit more, or one person may be more dedicated. But it takes a lot of crap before your friends start to ask you what you're really gaining from the relationship. (Sometimes in extreme cases you suspect that the other person may just be a sociopath who doesn't care about anyone, cough cough, Manny Ramirez.)

So, you may think it's dumb when people get upset over their favorite team losing in the playoffs, just as much as you may think it's dumb when your friend is all bent out of shape over his or her crappy relationship coming to an end, but in the latter case you usually at least fake some empathy for them. So why not at least muster up some fake empathy when it comes to sports heartbreak too?

I'll leave you with this quote from John Elway that proves that sports heartbreak goes both ways. They just want us to love them, too, guys!!


"There is no fall as far as when you lose the Super Bowl. The second you lose, you drop all the way back to the bottom, down there with every other team that played that season. It's like you did nothing. The minute it's over, they literally start bumping you out of the way to set up the ropes and the award stand. It's like, 'Uh, can you move, please? We've got some people to celebrate here.'"
-John Elway

Inner Monologue of a Could-Be Sportscaster

Note: This blog post was originally supposed to be about how I could be a sportscaster because most of the stuff they say is dumb and obvious and I think I could do better. But halfway through, I started to realize that it probably wasn't true. So I began to argue with myself. And instead of just deleting this post and starting over, I've decided to just let you see what it's like to be inside my brain for a couple of minutes. Enjoy.

You know how sometimes you look at someone else's really cool or high-paying job and you think to yourself, "I could totally do that!"?

There are usually two things that prompt you to say something like that:
1.) The job looks so simple that surely anyone with a brain could perform it
2.) The person who currently has the job is so terrible at it that you are convinced you couldn't possibly do any worse than they do.

When I watch sports, I can't help but think about #2 as I listen to the sportscasters.

When I was younger and didn't care as much about sports, I would listen to the sportscasters and think that they knew everything. But then I got older, watched games more often, and realized that it was more just the fact that I knew nothing that made them seem like they knew everything.

The vast majority of what they say is so painfully obvious that it's actually comical:

"I cannot stress enough the importance of every player playing their best in these playoff games."

"They really need to score here."

Or, they are spouting the most random statistics that have no actual meaning:

"This is the 5th time in the past 6 seasons that this team has been trailing by 7 or more points with 10 minutes left in the 2nd quarter."

Now, the thing is, while part of me is fairly certain that I could be a better sportscaster than at least half of all the people on the air, the other part of me asks, "well, how would you do that Jenny?"

And the answer is that I have no idea. I'm sure I would say the same dumb stuff they all say because it's hard to talk for 3 hours straight and not say something unintelligent or uninformed or stupid sounding. Sometimes I can't even say a single sentence without sounding like that. Like when someone wishes me a happy birthday and I say "Thanks! You too!" ...that's only 3 words and I still manage to mess it up.

Although, then again, I'm not getting paid to speak to people. Maybe I'd be more on top of my game if I were.

Note: The positive thing about this circular argument is that I now know what I'd do for my on-air act. I'd just argue with myself like I do in this blog. I'd be like those two heckling muppets but you'd only have to pay for one of me!

See?? I could totally do this sportscaster stuff.


"And then I said to myself, 'Kyle,' ....That's what I call myself. Kyle."
-Eric Matthews, Boy Meets World

Baby Steps to Self-Improvement

Awhile back, I wrote about useless verbal filler, and how I cringe when I say terrible things like, "alrighty then."

Along those lines, I'm realizing that there are lots of other little things that I say or do that I really wish I didn't. These things don't keep me up at night or anything. It's more just that every time I find myself doing or saying these things, I sigh a little bit to myself and silently (and falsely) vow to never do or say that ever again, and then I move on.

For example, I wish I didn't:

• Say "OOH sorry!!" every time I bump into someone, or even when they bump into me
• Yawn without covering my mouth
• Yell "wooo!" when I slip, trip, stumble or fall
• Say "me too!" whenever someone says they're tired
• Become a stuttering spaz every time I answer my phone at work
• Respond to compliments by saying something like, "Oh this piece of crap shirt? I got it at Target."
• Forget to put someone's address in my phone after promising to myself, "THIS time I'm going to put their address into my phone!"
• Put my phone on my lap while driving, only to then get out of my car, forgetting my phone is on my lap, and have it crash all the way to the pavement
• Use ellipses...in every tweet that I write (seriously, go check out my Twitter. I have a problem.)
• Ever talk about how many calories I'm consuming. I'm already eating them, so the damage is done. Plus, no one cares.
• Excessively use "haha" in all forms of online communication

That list is not comprehensive, but it's a good start.

Maybe I'll just focus on tackling two or three every week. If I can go one whole week without errant use of "haha" or "ooh sorry!" I would call that week a success.

Baby steps, people, baby steps.

"...I have really bad breath in the morning?"

"Ew."

-Mean Girls

Window Watching

How can I say this without sounding like a total creep?

....I give up. I'm just going for it.

I love looking in people's windows.

I don't walk up to their houses to peer in, or climb trees to get a better look. I just mean that if I'm driving past someone's house, or in a conference room at work that's directly across from someone's window, I like looking in and seeing what's going on. I like seeing how it's decorated. At Christmas time I love looking for Christmas trees. 

Yesterday during a meeting I'm pretty sure I saw a therapy session happening in the building across from us. I could only see the woman who I thought was the therapist, but she seemed very attentive to whoever was facing her, and she was taking notes. Or maybe it wasn't a therapy session at all--maybe I just got that idea in my head and then I just made all the things I saw happening fit into that narrative. 

I remember being on buses when I was in high school or college on my way to track meets and looking down into people's car windows wondering what their story was, or where they were going. Usually, I was wishing I was in the car with them--wherever they were going had to be better than running the 400. And now that I'm riding in cars more often than buses, I find myself looking up into the tinted windows of the buses, wondering where those people are going. Or if they're watching a movie on their iPad. Boy, do I wish I was watching a movie in my car.

Nighttime makes everyone's houses look more inviting. The lights are always glowing yellow. And they're always having family dinner, or watching a Red Sox game on TV, or doing something else adorable that I always kind of wish I could be a part of.

One time when we were in Italy my family walked past someone's window while they were in the middle of some sort of aggressive dispute. Maybe if our cell phones had worked we would have called the cops. But anyways...I did not wish to be a part of that. That was one window I was perfectly happy to bypass.

Maybe looking through someone's window is like when you first meet someone but don't know too much about them. By glancing in a window, you can't really know what someone's whole house looks like, or what's going on in all the other rooms--all you see is the yellow glow of their lamps, and what TV show they're watching. It's a rosy picture, and an incomplete one. But if you were to open the door and walk in, you'd get a whole different view--a more complete view. And maybe your opinion of them would change. Maybe you would see a mess on the floor, or rotten food in the fridge, or worse. Maybe their house wouldn't seem as put together when you're looking from the inside as when you're looking from the outside.

People are always messier than they first appear to be when you glance at them. And I think that's fine. I love looking in people's windows, but I would much rather walk through a friend's door instead. Even if it's messy inside. 

That was really corny. Sorry.


"I don't understand what Dad was doing in the middle of the street?"
"What was it George? Bird-watching?"
"What, Lorraine?? What??"
-Back to the Future

Go for a Spin Around my Mind

I'm not even sure this can really be considered a blog post. It's more just a single thought I had yesterday.

But I guess a blog post can sort of be whatever I want it to be, right?

Anyways, recently I've started taking spinning classes, and one of the hardest things to get used to is knowing how much resistance to put on the bike when the instructor tells you to.

Sometimes instructors will say a "quarter turn" or whatever...but you never really know from what point you should be starting, and all of that.

And then I started thinking about all of the technology we have these days. I actually wrote a post about it awhile back. And I thought to myself, why can they not make spinning bikes that quantify resistance so the instructor can just say "turn your resistance to 10?" They have that for other stationary bikes at the gym.

Now--a lot of times, people think thoughts like that and then they just shrug and go, "well that's dumb. I can't believe no one has thought of that." But, I like to give people a little credit where I can, so I need to bring this a step further. It cannot be true that no one has ever thought, "let's quantify the resistance on these bikes." There must be a good reason for it.

There must not be a demand for it. Maybe it would change the dynamics of spin class. Maybe it is an important aspect of spinning class that everyone is working at their own resistance. Every person has their own effort scale of 1-10. And that effort scale may not correspond with the 1-10 resistance scale on the bikes. So a 6 on the bike for one in-shape person may feel like a 6 on their effort scale. But, for the poor schlub that just started taking the class (that would be me) a 6 on the bike may feel like an 8 on my effort scale. And what's most important about class is how hard you (personally) are working.

Maybe this is just one of those things that's always been obvious for everyone else...but I felt like I had a breakthrough when I pieced this all together.

So, I figured I'd share.

"The distance the shotput goes is determined by the effort you put into it...PERSPIRATION!!"

-Ms. Trunchbull, Matilda

A Life-Ruiner for a Day?

So, I just read a Thought Catalog post entitled A Warning To The Girls Who Will Idolize Daisy Buchanan and it got me thinking...

(An important explanation if you don't know anything about The Great Gatsby: Daisy Buchanan is essentially a woman that married a rich, mean guy who is exactly her equal but she somehow still makes herself into the victim of everything. Gatsby is in love with her, but because she's a life ruiner ["she ruins people's lives!!"] she's pretty much his downfall.)

I have this running joke with my friends about how I want to ruin a guy. 

I will take a moment right here to restate the word "joke." You have been warned.

 It seems like so many guys out there are scarred from one Daisy Buchanan-like girl who trampled all over his life, and now he can't even look at pizza, or hear a song by Maroon 5 without thinking of her and getting chest palpitations. I want to be so careless that I destroy an entire genre of music for someone. Or accidentally get them arrested for trespassing. Or unwittingly become the cause of some giant bar fight between my boyfriend and half of the bar because I complained to him that a guy looked at me the wrong way. I want to smile and giggle unaffectedly as I look over my shoulder to see the giant ball of exploding fire that is my now ex-boyfriend's life. "Woops...did I do that??"

I want every new girlfriend this guy has after me to absolutely hate me because of all of the ways I ruined her boyfriend. "Sorry honey, I'd love to go to (insert name of most popular bar in city) for our anniversary but I'm eternally banned from there ever since I got in this huge fight defending my ex-girlfriend Jenny's honor."

Here's where I'll remind you once again, this is a scenario that we joke about. The reason this is a joke is because in reality, that is not what I want at all. I could never go through with something like that. But sometimes it just seems so tempting. Sometimes I get this epiphany that I would get so much more attention if I lived my life as a Daisy Buchanan.

(By the way, I feel comfortable admitting all of this here for two reasons. Firstly, most of you who read this know me personally and know that if I so much as cancel dinner plans with someone I feel guilty about it for 2 weeks--I'm not really going to go around stomping on people's lives. And secondly, because I am confident that while you may judge me for a second, you will then do that introspective thing where you think to yourself, "Have I ever done anything, or been tempted to do anything because I wanted attention?" and you will sympathize.)

I wish there was a day like Halloween, only with personalities instead of costumes. I just want to try being a life-ruiner for one day. But then have there be no actual consequences. I don't want to get anyone arrested for something they didn't do, or, you know, get anyone shot in their pools or anything. But I want to know what it feels like to be the type of girl that could if she wanted to.

Are you terrified of me yet?

Please don't be. Read this post I wrote last August about how all I want to do is not inconvenience people and you can be reminded that I'm really not this scary.

That is all :)


“They were careless people, Tom and Daisy- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”

-F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Defying Gravity? ...And all other logic and sense

Many television shows and movies present us with a world full of things that can't really exist in the world we live in--magic, talking animals, inanimate objects that move around, Charlie Sheen, and more. And I enjoy these sorts of things that meld reality with fantasy. I'm willing to embrace the impossible for a few hours at a time.

But what's funny is that even when I'm watching something that could never happen in real life, I still hold the show or film to some real life standards.

The other day I was watching Spongebob. (Yes, I just admitted to that.) And Spongebob and Patrick were planning on going golfing, but then it started to rain.

....They live at the bottom of the sea. How does it rain underwater? That makes no sense!!

But you know what else makes no sense? A talking sponge. Who wears square pants. And is best friends with a dumb talking starfish and a squirrel who has to wear a space suit while underwater.

The entire show is completely nonsensical. So why would it bother me when it began to rain underwater?

Or,  whenever I watch Beauty and the Beast, I can't help but notice Mrs. Potts is way too old to have Chip as a son. But the thing about that is that we're talking about an enchanted tea pot. And her tea cup son. So we are already far past the point of "all of this has to make total sense." Yet we still try.

Like, no way.

I'll stick with the Disney theme and move onto Enchanted. It's a story that takes place half in a cartoon-world and half in Manhattan. Giselle, the main character is about to get married when her soon-to-be-step-mother-in-law gives her the boot out of fairytale world. (It's actually called Andalasia, but that's neither here nor there.) Anyways, I'll spare you more details, but when she's in the "real world" she cuts out Patrick Dempsey's curtains to make a dress:

Amy Adams is adorable, but physics must still apply.

Look. I know this girl just came from Andalasia and everything about this movie is bizarre and magical...but those curtains straight up defy gravity. They wouldn't just hang there like that!

I'm not sure I can really pinpoint why these small details bother me when the overall implausibility or impossibility of the plot doesn't. 

Maybe something about defying actual rules of science? ...but then again, magic would be included in that. So, I really just don't know.

"You may hate gravity, but gravity doesn't care."
-Clayton Christensen

Sharing Boston

I decided over the weekend that this week's blog post would be about the Boston Marathon. I didn't really know what angle I'd take with it. I was most likely going to talk about how it's always been one of my favorite days of the year. When I was younger it signified a day full of hot dogs and hamburgers and playing with my cousins and passing out water to the runners. And now that I'm older it signifies the one day a year that everyone in my city actually cares about running. And maybe it also signifies a day of day drinking and cheering for random people I don't know, and a few people that I do.

But after the bombs went off on Monday, it was as if my angle was chosen for me. I couldn't not talk about it. I feel so badly for those who lost their lives, were injured or were emotionally traumatized by Monday's attack. It's something that I never imagined happening--no one did. And to an extent, it still does not feel real.

For the most part, I feel as if all that I can say about Monday has already been said by news stations and other bloggers. Boston is a strong city. We will overcome this. We will surround those who were directly affected with all the support they need. I truly believe all of this. But some of my other feelings about this situation have been all over the place--sadness, anger, confusion, annoyance. And reading what other people feel has been helpful, but I'm still trying to work out some things on my own.

Firstly, I feel sorry for all the runners who trained for months to either not be able to complete the race, or to complete it, but then to feel their accomplishment is forever tainted.

I know that no runner in Monday's marathon will admit their disappointment, because there are much larger things at play here, and much more important things to fret over. But to everyone who ran the marathon, whether you finished or not--I know how hard you worked, and I am so sorry you didn't get to experience the joy and sense of accomplishment that it should have brought you.

And secondly, I think something I've been struggling with in recent days is learning how to share. All of the sudden, everyone wants to be a part of Boston, everyone loves the Boston Marathon. Instead of being something I share with my family and friends and the people I stand next to as we shout "GO PINK SHIRT!! YOU CAN DO IT! HERE WE GO LISA! YEAH NAVY ATHLETICS!!", the marathon has now become something (largely through social media) that I share with the whole country. Even the whole world.

And in some ways, that is great. I am so impressed with how quickly people have rushed to support Boston, and those who live and/or work in the city, and were affected by the attack.

But in other ways--more selfish ways--it's been a little tough to realize that a day that you hold so close to your heart is now held in everyone else's heart too. 

Again, this feeling may not be something that people in Boston are willing to admit. Because the outpouring of love has been so great, and the attack was so tragic. But I can't help but feel like I used to feel in high school when that great, unknown band that I loved suddenly became mainstream and popular.

Along with all of the questions everyone in the city, and the country has--Who would do such a thing? Are we really safe anywhere? What can we do to stop these things from continuously occurring?--I'm also left with selfish questions that I've been a little afraid to ask--Will Marathon Monday not be the same anymore?  Will it become so popular that I won't even be able to find a spot to cheer from anymore? How long will I have to walk past police officers holding machine guns? Were people afraid of my pink gym bag that I took on the T this morning? 

I know that the Boston Marathon was never really "mine" to begin with, and that what happened Monday doesn't take the marathon away from me, or anyone else who loves it as much as I do. No one, except the person or persons who planted those bombs, is trying to take it away from me. This attack has brought to light what a positive and heartwarming event the Boston Marathon truly is--and people just want to be a part of that. And who could blame them? Maybe sharing it will make it even better--and help us all heal faster.


"Because it's okay to feel things. And be who you are about them."
-Stephen Chbosky, Perks of Being a Wallflower