Top 5 Things People Not From Boston Think About People From Boston

What's with the ridiculous amount of Boston stereotypes being thrown around these days? What did we win the World Series or something? Seems like everyone lately wants a piece of Boston, whether to build us up or tear us down. And since I'm a loud-mouth, it's been really hard for me to sit around and listen to people who don't live in Boston talk about Boston.

So, while I've been stewing over horribly inaccurate articles like this one (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JOHNNY CUPCAKES SELLS TSHIRTS!! NOT CUPCAKES! TSHIRTS!! AND YOUR PICTURE OF A ROTARY IS AN INTERSECTION!!!), I've been compiling a mental list of the stereotypes that bother me most. Then, when I put that list to paper I sounded like a jerk. And while sometimes I can be a jerk, I wanted to show at least some restraint. So I decided to cut it down, and settle in on my top 5 instead. 

Though it's probably self-explanatory, each item begins with a Boston stereotype, and then includes my personal opinion of this stereotype based on real-life experiences.

Here goes:

1.) 3 feet of snow is a "dusting"
3 feet of snow is actually a State of Emergency. First of all, our roads were made in the 18th century, and, no offense to the pilgrims, but they suck.(The roads suck. Not the pilgrims. I'm sure they're lovely people.) So roads are closed for days. In addition, we Boston people don't just shrug off 3 feet of snow and then drive to work. During our last big storm, I didn't have work for 3 days. People wait outside near parking lots to watch poor schlubs come outside and see the mountain of snow that used to be their car. I know this because during this particular storm, I was that poor schlub.
Photo evidence:

Anyways, in summation, old roads + old powerlines = big mess, no power, and a big deal.

2.) We know how to navigate rotaries like a pro
Have you ever tried to drive down the Cape on a Saturday morning?! We do NOT know how to navigate rotaries. And full disclosure, I just stay in the outside lane the whole way around because once you go in the inside lane you may never get out. Ever. One time I got in the inside lane and couldn't update my blog for a month. True story.

3.) We can drink you under the table--we're wicked Irish!!
I'm pretty sure that it's people who live outside of Boston proper who spread this drinking prowess rumor--and then they come in from West Roxbury and Dedham at 10am on parade day bragging about how much they can drink and get in a drunken fight (read: A light shove followed by a face plant on cobblestone) and close our bars down at 3pm. Good work guys. (p.s. I'm not randomly picking on West Roxbury and Dedham. There's a rhyme to my reason.)

4.) We love the Sox, Bruins, Celtics, Patriots
This is completely true. But that's because teams are geographically based. I never quite know what to say when people try to heckle me for being a Red Sox fan. They're called the BOSTON Red Sox. I live in Boston. I grew up in a suburb outside of Boston. I don't really know what else you'd expect me to be. Go ahead and heckle Red Sox fans who are from Pittsburgh or something. Because that's random. But can I show my license and get a free pass or something?

5.) We run on Dunkies
Believe it or not, the people of Boston have preferences and opinions that differ, much like that of people in every other city and town everywhere. I'm a Starbucks girl all the way. Yet here I am, living in Boston. Been here for quite some time.


"SHIPPING UP TO BOSTON HEYYYYEYYYEYYY!!"
-Quite possibly the only lyric to a Dropkick Murphy's song that I know. So I just make sure I sing that line REAL loud to make up for all the other lines I'm not singing.