Words I Live By: Jane Eyre

Lately I've been having some writer's block. I've been busy working, and going on vacation, and thinking about going on vacation, and creating excuses to not go to the gym, and because of that I've had a harder time posting blogs. 

So I started trying to motivate myself to write more. And I did this by revisiting some of my favorite articles, books and quotes. 

I'm a sucker for a good quote (which is why I end every post with one), and it's probably my ultimate writing goal to compose at least one sentence, at some point in my life, that resonates with someone as much as certain writings have resonated with me.

Good writing isn't about technically sound sentences, or using the biggest, most descriptive words. It's about summing up all the nuances of a complicated situation in a sentence, or a paragraph, or a chapter. It's about convincing others that you know how they feel, and you know why they feel how they feel.

So, I've decided that my next couple posts are going to be about various writings that have stuck with me over the years, that I keep going back to for inspiration, and that comfort me or motivate me in one way or another.

Probably my favorite book of all time is Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. And I've decided that it's my favorite book because of a single chapter.

Jane is a young girl at a strict boarding school in the nineteenth century. She was sent there by her wicked aunt, Mrs. Reed, who just wanted to get rid of her. At school she meets a girl named Helen Burns, and the two fall into a discussion after Helen is hit for not paying attention in class. Jane, who is a bit hot-headed, talks to Helen about why she could never endure what Helen endured. And Helen, who is pretty much a saint, explains why she endured it.

I've skipped some of the middle parts so I don't lose you, but do your best to work your way through this. I'll even bold the best parts!

"But then it seems disgraceful to be flogged, and to be sent to stand in the middle of a room full of people; and you are such a great girl: I am far younger than you, and I could not bear it."

"Yet it would be your duty to bear it, if you could not avoid it: it is weak and silly to say you CANNOT BEAR what it is your fate to be required to bear."

I heard her with wonder: I could not comprehend this doctrine of endurance; and still less could I understand or sympathise with the forbearance she expressed for her chastiser. Still I felt that Helen Burns considered things by a light invisible to my eyes. I suspected she might be right and I wrong; but I would not ponder the matter deeply; like Felix, I put it off to a more convenient season.
...

"Well, then, with Miss Temple you are good?"

"Yes, in a passive way: I make no effort; I follow as inclination guides me. There is no merit in such goodness."

"A great deal: you are good to those who are good to you. It is all I ever desire to be. If people were always kind and obedient to those who are cruel and unjust, the wicked people would have it all their own way: they would never feel afraid, and so they would never alter, but would grow worse and worse. When we are struck at without a reason, we should strike back again very hard; I am sure we should—so hard as to teach the person who struck us never to do it again."

"You will change your mind, I hope, when you grow older: as yet you are but a little untaught girl."

"But I feel this, Helen; I must dislike those who, whatever I do to please them, persist in disliking me; I must resist those who punish me unjustly. It is as natural as that I should love those who show me affection, or submit to punishment when I feel it is deserved."

"Heathens and savage tribes hold that doctrine, but Christians and civilised nations disown it."

"How? I don't understand."

"It is not violence that best overcomes hate—nor vengeance that most certainly heals injury."
...

"Then I should love Mrs. Reed, which I cannot do; I should bless her son John, which is impossible."
...

Well," I asked impatiently, "is not Mrs. Reed a hard-hearted, bad woman?"

"She has been unkind to you, no doubt; because you see, she dislikes your cast of character, as Miss Scatcherd does mine; but how minutely you remember all she has done and said to you! What a singularly deep impression her injustice seems to have made on your heart! No ill-usage so brands its record on my feelings. Would you not be happier if you tried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it excited? Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs."

In my time, I've been known to register a few wrongs. I've been inclined to strike back at those who I believe have struck me for no reason. Sometimes I have to be reminded that hating someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

I feel like Jane in this chapter sums up exactly how I'm inclined to feel when I perceive something wrong has happened to me. And reading Helen's response always reminds me to just chill the heck out.

Peace. Love. Helen Burns.

I promise that some of my other "words to live by" will be shorter than this. But not all of them.

It seems only right to wrap this up with another great Jane Eyre quote.

“No sight so sad as that of a naughty child," he began, "especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?"
"They go to hell," was my ready and orthodox answer.
"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?"
"No, sir."
"What must you do to avoid it?"
I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: "I must keep in good health and not die.”

-Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

Jane is such a badass.

How Cliche!

I'm not big on cliches and generic, canned phrases that people always use to sum up a variety of situations. I'm not an "everything happens for a reason" sort of girl. Or an "if you love someone let them go" kind of person.

However, there are definitely a couple of cliches that I'm on board with. Sometimes you just can't dispute evidence that proves that these phrases are straight truth.

"It's a small world." -- Seriously, it is SUCH a small world. And this is both comforting and terrifying to me. I have learned over and over again that even when you say goodbye to people, there is a really good chance you'll run into them again. Sometimes that's a great thing, and sometimes it's a really annoying, terrible thing. There are lots of Murphy's Law-type rules when it comes to the "it's a small world" principle:

• If you say something mean about someone in public, you will say it within earshot of someone who happens to know them.
• If you see someone from college or high school and think to yourself, "Hm, I haven't seen them in FOREVER," you will inevitably see them everywhere you go for the next 6-12 months.
• If you just begin dating someone, you will soon after meet someone, or catch up with an old friend who happens to know their most recent ex.
• If you meet someone brand new, say, on vacation, you will meet their cousin or someone else who knows them in the next month.

"Good things happen to good people." -- This is not to say that bad things never happen to good people, or that good things never happen to bad people, because of course, that's just not true. But I really do believe that when it all nets out, good people have it better. I also have learned over time that good things happen to positive people. Essentially, you get what you expect to get in this world. And if you expect the worst, that's what you'll find. But I'm not sure they've turned that into a cliche yet, so in the meantime I'll stick with "good things happen to good people" -- even though "good" and "positive" do not always go hand in hand.

"The grass is greener on the other side." -- Ok, I really only strongly advocate this phrase when it comes to girl's hair. The grass is always greener on another girl's head. Err--ok so that doesn't translate well. What I mean is that every girl with curly hair wants straight hair, and every girl with straight hair wishes their hair would curl. The hair care industry thrives on this principle. Perms and curlers and straighteners and sprays and gels and chemicals exist so girls can force their hair to do what other girl's hair does naturally--but you would never know her hair does that naturally because she's too busy forcing her hair to do what another girl's hair does naturally. 

So,  while I may not be down for the "everything happens for a reason"s of the world (which is another blog topic for another day), there are at least a few other expressions I can get behind.

"Someone once told me the grass was much greener on the other side. Well, I took a visit, and it's possible I missed it. It seemed different yet exactly the same."

-Macy Gray, "In Between" ...yes, the As Told by Ginger theme song