(An important explanation if you don't know anything about The Great Gatsby: Daisy Buchanan is essentially a woman that married a rich, mean guy who is exactly her equal but she somehow still makes herself into the victim of everything. Gatsby is in love with her, but because she's a life ruiner ["she ruins people's lives!!"] she's pretty much his downfall.)
I have this running joke with my friends about how I want to ruin a guy.
I will take a moment right here to restate the word "joke." You have been warned.
It seems like so many guys out there are scarred from one Daisy Buchanan-like girl who trampled all over his life, and now he can't even look at pizza, or hear a song by Maroon 5 without thinking of her and getting chest palpitations. I want to be so careless that I destroy an entire genre of music for someone. Or accidentally get them arrested for trespassing. Or unwittingly become the cause of some giant bar fight between my boyfriend and half of the bar because I complained to him that a guy looked at me the wrong way. I want to smile and giggle unaffectedly as I look over my shoulder to see the giant ball of exploding fire that is my now ex-boyfriend's life. "Woops...did I do that??"
I want every new girlfriend this guy has after me to absolutely hate me because of all of the ways I ruined her boyfriend. "Sorry honey, I'd love to go to (insert name of most popular bar in city) for our anniversary but I'm eternally banned from there ever since I got in this huge fight defending my ex-girlfriend Jenny's honor."
Here's where I'll remind you once again, this is a scenario that we joke about. The reason this is a joke is because in reality, that is not what I want at all. I could never go through with something like that. But sometimes it just seems so tempting. Sometimes I get this epiphany that I would get so much more attention if I lived my life as a Daisy Buchanan.
(By the way, I feel comfortable admitting all of this here for two reasons. Firstly, most of you who read this know me personally and know that if I so much as cancel dinner plans with someone I feel guilty about it for 2 weeks--I'm not really going to go around stomping on people's lives. And secondly, because I am confident that while you may judge me for a second, you will then do that introspective thing where you think to yourself, "Have I ever done anything, or been tempted to do anything because I wanted attention?" and you will sympathize.)
I wish there was a day like Halloween, only with personalities instead of costumes. I just want to try being a life-ruiner for one day. But then have there be no actual consequences. I don't want to get anyone arrested for something they didn't do, or, you know, get anyone shot in their pools or anything. But I want to know what it feels like to be the type of girl that could if she wanted to.
Are you terrified of me yet?
Please don't be. Read this post I wrote last August about how all I want to do is not inconvenience people and you can be reminded that I'm really not this scary.
That is all :)
“They were careless people, Tom and Daisy- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
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