Thursday, April 11, 2013

Someday, You Will Hate Zooey Deschanel

The title of this post is a prediction. It may even be a promise.

And it's based on observations that we, as a society, rip through desirable stereotypes like 8-year-olds rip through Christmas presents.

Remember when Paris Hilton was cool? I promise, that happened. Kim Kardashian, too. They were style icons, they were party girls, and we couldn't read or watch enough about them. But if you ask most people about them now, the feedback is not going to be positive. Because "rich party girls" aren't "in" anymore.

We put these celebrities on media pedestals and then when they step out of line, or when we change our idea of what's desirable, we blow them sky high like they false started in the Hunger Games.

I've lost track at this point. Is Kate Upton beautiful today? Or is she fat? Have we decided which way we like her yet? It seems to swing entirely one way, and then entirely another based on the day. (Extra points to anyone who just thought to themselves: "I don't hate you because you're fat, you're fat because I hate you.")

Media coverage of Taylor Swift just recently changed from her being a great role model, to being a slut, to being a slut-shamer, to be an anti-feminist, to being a girl whose magazine covers don't sell enough copies so everyone must be sick of her face and her life and her sparkly dresses. The end.

Cute sparkly girls who like to fall in love are "out."

Oh, except if you're Zooey Deschanel. But she's a cute sparkly girl who we perceive as "not trying to be cute" and is dorky. We love dorky right now.

We love Jennifer Lawrence right now for the same reason. She's a dork. And sort of a bro. And she's someone you want to be best friends with.

Best friends are so "in" right now.

You know why Jennifer Lawrence fell up the stairs while going to accept her award for Best Actress at the Oscars? Because your best friend would never win an Oscar for Best Actress. And if she did, you would probably start to secretly hate her. And once you let the secret out to a couple people, and they say they've been secretly hating her too, then your hate stops being a secret. And then it's all over the internet that hating Anne Hathaway is so "out" and hating Jennifer Lawrence is "in." She's not our best friend anymore!! Tie her to the newsstands and burn her!

There is nothing you can tell me to convince me that she didn't fall on purpose...just so she could even things out a bit. People will still be jealous that their best friend won the Oscar for Best Actress, but at least they can snicker behind her back about the fact that she fell on the way up to receive it.

"Oh, my best friend is SUCH a klutz."

So, for now, dorky and funny and "best friend" is what's "in"...but what will be next? What celebrity stereotype will we tear down next to make room for the new cool way to be?

(By the way, starting to spend some time thinking about if we are this fickle with male celebrity stereotypes. I think that society definitely goes through phases of thinking huge muscle-men are "in" ...no, now it's skinny, sensitive guys...no, now it's kind of chubby, hairy but funny guys...no wait, back to the muscle-men, but muscle-men who love animals! I'm not sure male celebrities who personify an "out" stereotype are ripped apart as much as female celebrities though. Is there a guy equivalent of Anne Hathaway right now? Are people ever going to hate, say, Jon Hamm as much as they hate Anne Hathaway?)

Ending this now before I open a whole new can of worms.

"'When times are good we prefer actresses with rounder faces,' psychology professor Terry Pettijohn told Salon.com writer Daniel D'Addario..."
-"Why You Love to Hate Anne Hathaway," CNN.com
...like, what? Seriously?

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