Bad Bromance

Typically, I am not too bothered by abbreviations. Of course there are the abbreviations that are widely accepted, like "info" and _____ <--insert your own example because I can't think of a second one. But I've even come to tolerate the new "abbreves" ...if you will. I've found myself saying "totes" or "obvi" here and there--always with some sarcasm behind it, but still, I've said it. I sometimes even absentmindedly say "BRB" when I leave a room. And I'm ok with it.

But for some reason that I can't quite articulate, I absolutely hate when people combine regular words with "man" or "mom," or any other gendered words.

Man-purse or murse

Man-boobs or moobs

Manorexia

Manscape

Bromance

Octo-mom

Bridezilla

Mompreneur (I swear I've seen that one...not making it up.)

Mommy-blogger

Really, I just want to end the post here. The most important part of this whole thing is me complaining that I don't like these words. But I feel sort of obligated to try to explain why.  So, I reluctantly give you the part where I attempt an explanation:

First of all, these are all cutesy, punny terms that have actually turned into terms that educated people use. That bothers me. "Bromance" and "bridezilla" should not be in someone's professional vocabulary. If you want to talk to your friends about how, "Oh em gee my boyfriend and your boyfriend are totes bromancing hard core" ...then fine. If I overhear your conversation I'm going to laugh at you, but there's no foul play, per se. But if I hear "manscaping" on the 6 o'clock news, I may just change the channel. Apparently "mankini" is now a word in the dictionary. What's a mankini you may ask? Have you ever seen Borat? ...Me either. But I still have the image of him in that god awful lime green thong suit thing occasionally rolling through my nightmares...that's a mankini.

Secondly, because these words are all cutesy and punny, they take away from the actual weight of the word they're paired with. "Manorexic" sounds really clever and cute, but not to a guy (or girl even) that actually has anorexia...which is a medical condition. I know I'm being a huge Debbie-downer about this, but seriously, you don't hear anyone calling cancer "mancer" so let's leave the medical terms alone.

Also, if I ever refer to myself as a "mommy"-anything...slap me. (If and when I'm actually a mom, that is. And if I ever refer to myself as "mommy"-anything when I'm not a mom...bring me to the appropriate institution.)

Are you convinced? I doubt it. But you know what, I'll let you keep your irrational fear of things like ketchup and cotton balls if I can keep my irrational hatred of these words. Deal?


"It's not a man-purse, it's a satchel!"
-Alan, The Hangover