Gets me every time!

Sometimes, because I'm sarcastic and kind of critical, my mind will automatically jump to that side of things when I'm thinking about a certain concept. So a lot of what I write ends up being things that I don't like, or that I'm making fun of. And while that's fun some of the time, there are actually a lot more things in life that I like rather than don't like. So maybe I should start focusing on those.

(Note to self: begin less sentences with the word "so.")

A couple months ago I wrote about scenarios in movies that I can't handle. There are a lot of different tactics they use in movies that make me cringe. But at the same time, there are lots of things that, no matter how overused they are, still get me every time. If I ever made a movie I'd be sure to include the following things:

1.) The picture/short video clip montage. This is a ridiculously effective technique to save time in a movie. A minute long montage can establish two characters' close relationship, build an entire house, fast forward 30 years...you can really use it for anything. Because I want to make you cry today, here is a montage from the movie Up!

If you aren't at least sniffling you have no heart. But really, why is it sad? You knew Ellie for about 4 minutes. It's those damn montages that make you feel like you've known her and Carl for their entire lives!

2.) The shooting fake-out. This one gets me every time. The main character is in a position where it is almost certain he or she will be killed by a crazy gunman/gunwoman. Then, as the trigger is pulled, and the shot rings out, they zoom to the face of the main character, who then gives a look of surprise. The camera then pans over to the crazy gunperson and they are falling to their knees, having been shot by an unexpected third party. Clearly, Family Guy caught on to this awesome movie trend and used it here:

3.) The immediate contradiction. This is always funny to me, without fail. It's when the main character is saying "No, there is no way I am going to this party." Or "I am NOT NOT NOT doing that!" then the camera immediately cuts to a shot of them at the party, or doing the thing they had just said they would never do. Now, when you watch this next clip I want you to appreciate the fact that this took me way too long to find. And I didn't even find it. I had my brother, 2 co-workers, and various friends via Facebook helping me search for an example for this:

Now you know if I were to ever make a movie it would be a hybrid of Up!, Family Guy and Get Him to the Greek.

...Gosh, that sounds pretty terrible, doesn't it? I'll keep my day job.


"You need to fix the place up. Reinvent the Clam's image. And we'll help ya!"
"That'll take forever!"
"Not if we do a 1980's fixing stuff up montage!"
(Montage of the gang fixing and painting set to a new wave soundtrack)
"Wow, I think we made it worse."
"Boy, I do not envy whoever has to clean that mess up."

-Joe, Cleveland, Peter and Quagmire, Family Guy