Wednesday, May 30, 2012

No offense but...

Ever find yourself in a situation where you feel offended or insulted, but the person who has offended or insulted you has absolutely no idea what they've done or said? And meant no personal harm by it? Sometimes it's maddening, sometimes it's embarrassing, sometimes it's hilarious. Usually I find it hilarious though...finding out what people really think when they aren't afraid of offending someone can be entertaining.


Over time I've been compiling a list in my head of accidentally insulting things. Some of the ones on the list I'm guilty of myself, other ones are slights I've been on the receiving end of.


-When people tell you all gym teachers are lesbians
...and your mom was a gym teacher


-When someone tells a lunch table full of people that sweatpants are inappropriate attire for class
...and you're wearing sweatpants, but your legs are under the table


-When an ugly/smelly/overweight person hits on you at a bar
...he looked across the room and said to himself, "Yup. That girl is totally on my level!"


-When a co-worker says you look tired
...and you got 8 hours of sleep


-When someone says they ran a terrible race
...and you ran slower than them



-When someone tells you how psychotic "that guy over there" is
...and you're hooking up with him



-When someone talks about the jerk that cut them off in the parking lot this morning
...and it was you


-When you're talking about how annoying poli-sci majors were at your school
...and you're actually talking to a poli-sci major...from your school


-When someone tells you you look like a celebrity
...and it's Barbara Streisand


-When someone tells you a story about the dumbest question they ever heard someone ask in a class
...and you were the one who asked it


I can't wait to get accidentally insulted again so I can add to this list!




"What kind of idiot kept this guy on the air for twenty-five years?"
"Me...Jonathan Lundy."
"Jonathan Lundy, general manager, owner? I'm Daniel Hillard - former employee."
-Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams), Mrs. Doubtfire

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