In an ideal world...

In day-to-day life there are lots of little things that make me think, "This would be way better if it were just a little different." ...I just tried 7 times to explain myself further and every time I sounded even more idiotic than usual. So I'm just going to cut right to the examples today.

When I watch The Biggest Loser, I always wonder why they send the person/team who loses the least amount of weight home. I mean, I know the show is a competition, but it makes me sad because the people who lost the least amount of weight are the people who need the most help! But they just get sent home! What the show should do is send the people who get kicked off to a much more brutal weight loss reality show. Kind of like a deeper circle of hell. Tough love people...tough love!


Speaking of fat, how much better would we all look if fat shifting were a possibility? It's my fat...I should be able to choose where it goes.


(Side note, video style):

Moving on...When people try on my glasses they always say, "Woahhh is this how things look to you when you're not wearing glasses??" And I always think, "Probably not...but it totally should work that way."


When I go to restaurants and I'm trying to decide what I want, it would be really helpful if the pictures of the food on the menu were actual pictures of real food cooked in that restaurant. I already know that I can't trust anything I see on those pictures so they barely even exist in my mind. I just skip right over them because I know they're there to trick me. And I don't like being tricked.


Sometimes when I make a purchase from a vending machine, I make a terrible mistake. Either the wrong drink comes out, or you accidentally press the wrong letter/number combo and end up with a Sky Bar or something gross and I feel like there should be some way to return these things and try again. Or like, can I get a preview of what I'm ordering before it just drops from the machine? Chances are, if I'm getting something from a vending machine, I'm pretty desperate for it, so I'd really like to make sure it's the right product.


Now that it's time to wrap this up, I still don't have anything intelligent to say about it. I'm really heavily relying on the examples today and hoping you guys identify with at least one.




Every year, 10-13 people die in tragic vending machine accidents.
-A fact that, I am almost positive, is entirely fabricated. But I bet you've heard it before.