You know you're reading a blog if...

Do you ever question what year you were born in?

Have you ever wondered if you resided in a specific geographical location? Boston perhaps?

Have you ever asked yourself while sitting in your college dorm, "do I attend college?"

No? Me either. But then why in God's name are lists like, "You know you're from Boston if..." "You know you're a 90s kid if..." and "You know you go to college if..." so popular?

If I say "water fountain" instead of "bubblah" does that really change where I grew up? Does that make me any less from Boston? Can I skip out on Massachusetts taxes please?

What about if I use my turn signal when I change lanes? Are the birthers out there going to be checking my birth certificate?

I'm confused as to the point of these lists. And I'm also confused as to why I sometimes enjoy reading them. I wish I didn't.

(Side note: NO ONE says "wicked pissah" so can all you list makers out there remove that from the "You know you're from Boston if..." lists?)

(Side side note: If you're thinking, "I totally say wicked pissah" you're lying to yourself. Or you constantly get laughed at by your friends. And not in the "we're laughin with you cuz you have a wicked killah Bahston accent kehd" sort of way.)

Do they make these lists so Facebook friends can argue over who's "The most Boston of them all?" or "The most 90s of them all?" ...how can one person born in 1988 be more from the 90's than someone else born in 1988? That doesn't even make sense.

But anyways, I like to end things on a positive note, so the one good thing I can say about these "You know you're _____ if you ____" lists is that they are a step above the old lists from the AOL Instant Messenger Away Message days that went something like,

Top Ten Reasons To Date a Wrestler
(Courtesy of angelfire.com)
10. Knows how to ride
9. Never stalls on the bottom
8. Can score from any position
7. Knows how to use his hips
6. Can work a 2-on-1
5. Goes hard from start to finish
4. Endurance, endurance, endurance.
3. Knows when to push and pull
2. Will eat anything
1. Always wears his headgear

You can tell they ran out of reasons as they got to the bottom because...are wrestlers, in fact, willing to eat anything? Most wrestlers I knew starved themselves. Otherwise, they weren't anymore adventurous in their eating habits than the next guy. ...And why would I want to date someone who always wears headgear? That's weird.

[Editor's note: 1 month and 4 days later I FINALLY understand the headgear thing. You know when you can't figure out the answer to a question and you're too stubborn to Google search it, but then you wake up in the middle of the night and say, "SALLY FIELD!!" Just had one of those moments here. So I'll give them that one. But I maintain that number 2 is a pretty weak one.]


"I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, 'no, actually I'm a giraffe.'"
-Richard Gere